The Lost Year(s)

My last blog post was 2 years ago! I have been referring to these past two years as “The Lost Years” and now find some validation with this realization. Since I did not write a post in 2022, what did I do? What are we doing? What have we done?

Well, we have continued. The work. I really only took a few months off in 2020 before resuming sessions. We worked masked, of course. The self-study work seems more urgent now, still a privilege to witness and help facilitate. I often think it is all that truly matters.

The other notable thing I’ve done recently and would love to share with you is my trip to India with my 82 year old mama. She has been there 20+ times! It was my first time. She has traveled half-way around the globe on her spiritual journey and I wanted to accompany her…finally! It was an experience that isn’t easy to put into words. I will try to keep it short.

We arrived at the meditation center early. The gates were still locked and we had to call out for someone to let us in. I was fine with walking back down to the café and having a coffee but my mom was eager to get in, so we persisted. We settled our things into our room, were given the tour by the tall, young Sameer, (he was key in keeping the center running like a well-oiled machine) and registered/paid in the office. I also rented a modem for our stay. Our room had its own bathroom and a balcony overlooking the koi pond and outdoor seating area. We were at the foothills of the Himalayas next to a stream. It was serene.

To stay at the center it was required that we take part in a “group”. My mom signed us up months prior. I never asked what the group was about. When I finally did, upon our arrival, she didn’t know. Blind trust. The 5-day group was titled “Shakti: The New You”. We were a group of 12 women nine of which were Indian, as was the facilitator. The other white woman was a young 30-something from Boston on a spiritual walk about.

We had arrived a couple days early, giving us time to acclimate. The schedule for the days events were posted. Morning Dynamic meditation was at sunrise, from 7-8am. The sun would stream in the large windows of the circular space and warm my already sweating body by the end of Dynamic. When I was in my twenties I would sometimes participate in meditation groups that my mom led here in Portland in the 80s. My favorite was Kundalini. When she explained Dynamic to me then I was not open to trying it. It sounded crazy and a little extreme. For seven days in a row I was up and out the door at 6:40am to participate. I absolutely loved it! It felt so cathartic. After those 7 days I felt an inner peace. I felt softer and calmer. It was the most shift I’ve felt in a long while.

The group sessions took place after breakfast (three vegetarians meals a day btw with yogurt and paneer made on-site from the cow they milked, as well as garden grown veggies). The first day the first question asked, “Why did you sign up for this group?” I wasn’t going to lie and said, I’m here supporting my dear old mum. She was the celebrity, the elder and one of the OGs- having been a sannyasin since 1978! She had a direct connection to the Master. He died “left the body” in 1990. Ma Anand Arupo is my mom”s legal name. She was given the name in 1978 by Osho (then Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh). It means Formless Bliss. The sharing and the self-study we did in this group was profound. There was a lot of pain and trauma in the room.

The afternoon meditation was Kundalini. Fifteen minutes of shaking, 15 of dancing, 15 seated with a straight spine and 15 lying down yet staying alert. Active meditations help rid the body/mind of excess energy/ thought that may interfere with finding stillness. The ability to quiet the mind and the body’s need to fidget is not an easy task.

So now let me tell you about Dynamic…10 minutes of chaotic deep breathing. It’s done through the nose so it’s a good idea to blow your nose thoroughly first! Doing this first stage well helps with the others. Ten minutes of “going mad”. Scream, have a cushion or pillow handy for punching, cry. Let emotion flow. I was surprised at how the simple act of allowing this expression evoked emotion and led to releasing deep held trauma. Ten minutes of jumping with arms up shouting “HOO!” You want to put power behind it so come from the solar plexus. After these 30 minutes my heart was racing and I usually broke a sweat. The audio then commands us all to “STOP!” We were to freeze in whatever position we found ourselves in, even if it was awkward - which it usually was, and to hold the position for 15 minutes. The energy has been stirred and now we were told to let it work through us. Finally, 15 minutes of dancing. The music changes at each step so you know to switch actions. Osho said that, if one did Dynamic 90 days in a row, you didn’t need to do it again. If you miss a day, you start over. I did it for 7.

I found a lot on YouTube about these active meditations. I plan to challenge myself again and looking for others that may be interested. I was also given a new name at the end of my stay. Ma Dhyan Shanti. It means “Meditation Peace”. I’ll try to live up to it. Join me if you’re interested. Let’s continue our work!